Holiday Stress Management

The Little Boss (who is my boss, vs. the BIG Boss, who is the Little Boss's Boss) stopped by my office just now with a thoughtful little gift for xmas. Home For The Holidays: A Survival Kit. This dandy little kit contains:

1. A flask (Woo!)
2. Ear Plugs (ear plugs have rescued me from many anger inducing situations)
3. A Survival Guide containing common family holiday 'situations' and how to handle them.
4. 10 flash cards containing excuses to use to leave family holiday gatherings early (I cannot WAIT to read these - hello, Queen of the Excuse!)


Excuses to leave a family function early:

1. I'm under house arrest and need to get back before my parole officer finds out I'm gone.

2. My insurance won't authorize the additional therapy sessions that I'll need after this.

3. I ate Aunt Edna's dessert and now I feel that I may see it again.

4. Oh this? The doctor said it's highly contagious, but the rash only lasts a month or so.

5. I forgot to set the TIVO for the 80's teen flick marathon on TV tonight.

6. I'm leaving the country for unspecifiable reasons.

7. I've been downloading illegal music onyour computer and I have to split before the cops show up.

8. Ellis Island called: you're not my real family.

9. Uncle Fred is on the roof and the neighbors are starting to stare out their windows.

10. I just sobered up and realized where I am.


Speaking of sobering up....after reading the little survival guide, I have decided the top 2 gifts to give are as follows:

1. Alcohol - This is a no-brainer. If you bring alcohol, it will inevitably be opened at the party, and voila, you get to reap the benefits of your own gift.

2. Lottery Tickets - Another no-brainer. Pros: They're cheap, can be found at the local liquor store (where you'll be stopping anyways), and everyone knows the unspoken rule that the giver gets half of whatever the recipient wins. Once again, you get to reap the benefits of your own gift!

This gift from the Little Boss has renewed my faith that I will get through this holiday season unscathed with my new bag of tips and tricks ;-)

Tin Grin

So, I've been lazy and haven't done a big post about my braces. They're not really all that exciting. The tenderness is mostly gone, as are the major canker sores they caused during the first week. I don't have to get the wires replaced again until February. My bite isn't fitting together properly because my teeth are moving, and it's super annoying. I kinda have to tear food a part and swallow some of it basically whole. These pics were taken December 1, which is the day they were 'installed'.

Meme

Bold the ones you've done:

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (concert and jazz band in school)
4. Visited Hawaii (Maui to be exact)
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity (I give to charity, but not more than I can afford)
7. Been to Disneyland (world?) (Disneyland twice)
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (haven't sang one, but have played lots of instrumental solos)
11. Bungee Jumped (don't have the guts)
12. Visited Paris (would love to)
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (no, but I've adopted 4 dogs)
16. Had food poisoning (salmonella, and it was horrific)
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty (would love to)
18. Grown your own vegetables (if I only had the room!)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France (would love to)
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked (I would NEVER hitch hike or pick up one)
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice (would love to)
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person (would love to)
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke (I love singing, but have never done the karoke thing)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa (would love to)
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight (must do this someday)
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (not painted, but sketched)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person (would love to)
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris (would love to)
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater (our drive-in closed down, and I really miss it!)
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China (would love to)
57. Started a business (I was a piano teacher)
58. Taken a martial arts class (1 kickboxing class was more than enough thank you!)
59. Visited Russia (would love to)
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving (no way!)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp (I don't know if I could handle it)
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter (would love to)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar (yuck, no way!)
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (they were idiots)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London (would love to)
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person (would love to)
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (I could NEVER kill an animal)
88. Had Chickenpox (when I was 18, and it sucked!)
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one (my dad died the day before my 25th birthday)
94. Had a baby (tried and failed, tried and failed, rinse & repeat)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake trust me, you wouldn't WANT to.
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee (only once)
100. Read an entire book in one day